This was my motherfuckin’ jam back in the day! Every Sunday my BFF and I would go to Club Argos, a little gay sports bar on Cleveland’s west side, to drink all afternoon with the volleyball league he was part of. I was quite a hot mess back then, but it was really fucking fun to twerk and grind to this shit.
We usually got to the bar around 4 in the afternoon, and I was slamming beer and shots as soon as we walked through the door. When we started going there in early 2007 my BFF would pretty much be at my side the whole time, but by mid-year things had changed. He was drifting away from me, not just physically but emotionally as well. But we still went to the bar every Sunday after volleyball. We’d walk into the bar together, order our drinks, chat with some mutual friends, and then he’d be gone and I would find myself surrounded by other adoring gays. Whenever my drink was getting low another one magically appeared in my hand, having been sent over by my BFF who was across the room. I was always under a lot of stress because of my financial situation, but he made good money and was very generous (read: enabler). I never paid for a single drink during our 5-year friendship. And our friendly neighborhood bartenders, Frankie and Jeffrey, knew what I drank and that everything was to be put on my BFF’s tab. They took excellent care of me!
I’ll leave the details of the drama between my BFF and me aside to focus on the fun shit. I don’t remember this song from when it first came out in 1999, but in 2007 it was always on at Club Argos, at least every Sunday afternoon when we were gettin’ our drank on. I’m not sure when I first heard it, because most Sundays blended together for me back then. I do clearly remember twerking with this very tall, very muscular, very sexy black dude named Tony. We’d booty pop and werk it over and over! Sometimes the song just came up on the jukebox, and sometimes my BFF and I would throw a bunch of money into the juke to get it played next. He was also fond of requesting Debbie Gibson’s “Electric Youth,” which I was not a fan of, and that fucking Lindsay Lohan song “Rumors.” He had no taste in music.
I’m not going to pretend I knew how to dance, because most of the time I probably looked like Elaine on Seinfeld. But I didn’t care. I was drunk. I was popular. I was having fun. When I hear this song now, I think about all the good times I had at Club Argos. As happy as I am being clean and sober now, I do sometimes miss being a slutty, drunken mess. I miss feeling so free. I don’t want to go back to that point in my life, but I still look fondly on parts of it, especially this song.
Oh, and I was twerking before it was mainstream.
You can do it
Put your back into it
I can do it
Put your ass into it